Don’t You Just *Love* It When…

your days and nights get turned upside down? I swear I keep the weirdest hours and I do this to myself. I have to claim responsibility for it – is there a such thing as a sleep deprivation kink? Because I must have it. Yay, another one for the list!

So anyway, I’ve been wanting to post about this smokehot cyberfuck session I had a few nights ago but I still can’t put it into words. It was so intense that I’ve actually masturbated to the thought of it since then. I normally don’t get off that way, by mentally reliving my own experiences, but holy fuckballs, this one has earned a place in my own mental porn library.

If you keep up with me on any of the other places where I dwell online, you probably know that I’ve been on this anal cream-pie kick lately. Current fucked up anal fantasy: getting fucked in the ass, cumloaded into, and then pissed into enough to wash the cumload away. (By the way, spellcheck is trying to tell me that *cumloaded* isn’t a word. I disagree.) Anyway, I finally recorded myself getting off to that fantasy – at least the creampie part – and you can listen to it on niteflirt.

*note* wordpress will not allow me to link to niteflirt from this post, so you’ll have to copy/paste this URL into your browser: http://www.niteflirt.com/listings/show/9536959

Yes, fees still apply, $1.99/min. and yes, spending that money on me does kind of make you my bitch, but you like that shit (otherwise you wouldn’t be here, *winkwink*). What can I say, new panties don’t pay for themselves. And bonus – if you listen carefully, you just may be able to hear my pandora.com in the background. Industrial – so hot to fuck to!

Take care, bb’s. Stay wet!

~Roni
p.s. – I’m on twitter now! Follow me as, who else, @wetwetroni

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The Pizza Boy, My Neighbor, and some Bitching

I promised a friend that I would post about what happened two nights ago when the pizza delivery guy came over. Trust me that I would love to take the time to write it out play by play and weave the story into an elaborate, wank-worthy tale, but I am just way too ticked off right now. So the short story is that the other night I ordered pizza and it turned out that the guy who delivered the pizza is Jay, my new friend Eddie’s cousin. However, Jay is not a bi-boi, he is 100% red-blooded American gay. He is awesome and funny and slut-proud like me.

While he was here and I was chatting his ear off and making him late for getting back to work, we starting hearing noises from out in the hall. At first we thought there was a fight so we ran outside, but there was definitely no fight – Bobby and this really cute blonde girl (I say girl, but she looked like maybe she’s in her 30s) were up against the wall next to his door. They were both still dressed but he had her skirt hiked up and he was fingering her hard and fast. Her eyes were closed tight and she was sucking her breath in through her teeth like she was about to come when Jay said “Damn, boy.”

Damn, boy? Damn, boy? Thanks, Jay! Now Bobby thinks we’re rednecks. Great.

Blonde Girl snapped her eyes open and looked at us, mortified, but Bobby didn’t miss a beat. He stroked her clit furiously for several more seconds and then casually lowered her skirt and then waved at Jay and me like we’d just caught him bringing in his mail. He produced his keys from his pants pocket, unlocked his door, and escorted his stunned companion inside. Jay and I just stood there in the hall, jaws gaping like idiots, I’m sure, for I guess a minute when Jay finally said, “Girl, you need to go eat your pizza before it gets cold.”

What a weird, awkward, yet hot afternoon. The pizza was pretty good, too.

But um, yeah, so, yeah…

Ok now the bitching.

Doing what I do online attracts attention, which is good. Hell, it’s kind of the point. I would say that the overwhelming majority of the people that I interact with are just awesome motherfuckers. I talk with people in chat rooms, forums, message boards, through e-mail, and of course to my clients on the phone, and I’ve met some terrific, sexy, entertaining people from all over the planet. Unfortunately, one person has finally stepped in to be the douche bag of the crowd by “reporting me” to yahoo. Somebody was offended by my yahoo.com profile and yahoo has threatened to yank my account.

So whoever that was, I just want to not say “fuck you.” Because you don’t deserve to get fucked – fucking is a good thing. You deserve your dry, dusty, closed-off existence. And holy shit – if my yahoo profile is too much for you, you just may want to avoid about 99% of the internet. I’m pretty sure its all just porn.
Here, have a video:

Not the update I had planned for today

but necessary none the less. Some of you may have noticed that the information in my “about me” section has changed. Unfortunately, the company that I have been working with has decided to go a different direction with their firm and I completely respect that. They are no longer going to be providing a venue for phone sex services. Since I love phone sex services, I don’t want to quit, sooooo…

…I moved over to Niteflirt.com. So yes you can still call and I will still rock your little world but the number to reach me is different. WordPress won’t let me link to my homepage there (which is weird – how am I different than an etsy or an ebay seller in that regard?) but I can give you the number, so write it down bitches:

1-800-TO-FLIRT ext 9535 935
You can actually go onto my page at niteflirt and see when I’m taking calls:
(If this link doesn’t work, try cutting and pasting to your browser.)
http://www.niteflirt.com/wet+roni+kt

I am also working on setting up an ebanned store for those of you dirty little freaks who want my panties. (You know who you are – there’s no need for me to call you all out, is there?) When that is up and running, (and think weeks, gentlefuckers, not days), I’ll let you know here and/or by email if you add me to your email contacts:
wetwetroni@yahoo.com

Finally, I am about to change my look a little bit so don’t freak out. My old pictures are old and I’m kind of a different girl. I was 18 in those pics and I’m 22 now, all of those old pics have my natural eye color and I wear contacts now almost all the time. Yadda yadda yadda, you know how it goes, so anyway… yeah.

Sorry for the non-sexually-adventurous update – that’s not how I usually roll, but these things do happen. Till next time, keep your mind, your heart, your mind, and your legs wide open 😉

~`*Roni*’~

Of Bi Boys and a New Goal

How do I even begin to describe last night?

Nicci brought her friends Eddie and Ty over to my apartment last night. Eddie and I had met before at one of Nicci’s sorority parties last year, but I’d never seen Ty before. Ty and Eddie are bi-boys, (which in my opinion are far too rare in this world), and Nicci had told them, for lack of better phrasing, that she had a friend who was a hot slut that wanted to bang two guys, so there was no pretense about it: they were here to fuck.

Nicci has a key to my apartment so she just walked them in when they got here. I was already stripped down to my panties when they got here. I was watching some porn clips that were featuring anal gang bangs, so I kind of had an idea of what I wanted to do. I wanted them to take turns fucking me in the ass. I’ve always liked the idea of anal sex but here lately, I don’t know why, I’ve decided I want to become a real anal slut. I want my asshole stretched out like a porn star’s – you know what I’m talking about. I figured that shy little Nicci would just watch and maybe let one of them fuck her pussy.

And they did. I did. She did. It was fucking amazing. I’ve never taken dick so deeply into my asshole before. I took one of Ty’s loads right in my asshole and then Eddie fucked Ty’s cum into me! And Nicci – I’ve never seen her just let go like she did last night. I think she and Eddie have some real chemistry because when she sucked his cock, it was like she was praying or something. I felt really lucky to be able to see it happen.

I hope I’ll be able to get together with them again soon. Ty said he thinks I’ll make a great ass-slut and we talked about maybe doing some sessions with just me and him so he can just focus on stretching me and helping me take it deeper and harder. If I were the total submissive type (which I’m not), he would be the kind of guy I would want as my dom- he has the heart of a teacher. I can’t wait to learn more from him.

I’m going to take a few calls and then go to bed. Goodnight – may all your dreams be wet.

U.N.F. – universal noise of fucking

I hear it day and night. Unf, unf, unf. The walls shake, the floorboards creak, and voices wail, moan, and keen. I hear them say, “yes” and “mmm” and “fuck, oh fuck yeah, fuck” and there is a boom that rocks the foundations of this place. The pictures on my wall creak sideways.

I’m on my side of the wall, legs open, panties wet, rubbing and rubbing my fingers between my legs. When they shake, I shake. When they moan, I moan. We get off together. They fall asleep, I assume, and then I get off again. I pick up the phone, I answer a call – whoever it is that just happens to be calling next on the hotline is the luckiest phone sex client ever because he gets the phone fucking of his life. Phone Johnny and I cum together and we hang up, and I eventually fall asleep with my fingers tucked under the elastic of my soaking wet panties.

Life is good.

I’ve determined two things about Bobby next door. First of all – he doesn’t have one girlfriend, he has three. Fuck. Yes. I can work with that. Secondly, I’m pretty sure he knows that I hear him and that I get off on it. He winks at me when we pass in the hall. I swear the last time I saw him walking a girl inside, he turned to me and licked his lips a little bit. I can work with that too.

So does he know I’m a wet panty girl? Does he know I’m a phone slut? I’m going to find out. In the meantime, Nicci is bringing over a couple of bi studs tonight and we’re going to do some shots and then fuck around. I’m excited because Nicci told me that she plans on sucking both of their dicks (which is weird for her – she’s always been the prude) and I can’t wait to see her with come on her face. Also, I know they’re into anal and I really need to take some up the ass. I haven’t in a while and I need it. I don’t know if either of them will be up for watching me pee but I’m going to offer if things get hot enough.

Fuck.

I need for someone to know

I’m at home, wearing my favorite skinny jeans, and I’m about to wet them.  I’m going to piss right through my satin panties and just soak these jeans.  I’m going to do it here, in front of my computer in this pillow padded chair and that’s going to get wet, too.

I just need you, dear reader, to know.

I need you to know that I’ve already let just a little bit go.  There’s a dark spot in the middle of my crotch that is the result of a combination of a tiny dribble of piss  and the juice from my pussy because I am so fucking turned on right now.  Just the thought that I’m writing this, that I’m telling my secret to anyone who wants to read about it, makes it so much harder to hold.

Another drop just escaped.  I’ve been drinking water all afternoon just getting ready for this.  I’ve needed to pee since this morning and then this idea popped into my head.  I’ve got the apartment to myself and nothing  else to do – no other obligations, so I’m going to do this.  I’m going to pee in my pretty panties and these tight jeans and then I’m going to grind my pussy down into it.

I’m going to come so hard when I do.

I just needed for someone to know.

Drinks on me!

I love having this freedom – being out on my own means that I don’t have to explain myself if I want to have drinks on a Tuesday.  I’m paying my own cable bills so I can order all the porn (that I can pay for, lol) and I don’t have to hide the bill.  And I can jill-off to the sound of Bobby next door – in the middle of the day, in the middle of my living room – which is what I just did.

I’ve been meeting some sexy freaks on the internet lately and my mind is totally blown.  I’ve always been so sheltered – I had no idea that there were so many other people who were into sex like I am.  Again – liberating.  Mmmm.

I overheard Bobby telling “Red” about some kind of fetish club in the city.  I want to find out more about it – maybe I can go with them if I can figure out how to let them know I’m interested without letting him know that I was eavesdropping.  I don’t mean to eavesdrop – I really don’t – but he’s so fucking loud.

 

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